Francis Wheen's Top 10 Modern Delusions
Francis Wheen is a journalist, skeptic,
debunker and author of several books, including Idiot Proof:
Deluded Celebrities, Irrational Power Brokers, Media Morons, and the
Erosion of Common Sense. His collected journalism, Hoo-Hahs
and Passing Frenzies, won the George Orwell prize in 2003.
Francis Wheen's new book, How Mumbo-Jumbo Conquered the World: A
Short History of Modern Delusions, is published by Fourth
Estate.
1. "God is on our side"
George W Bush thinks so, as
do Tony Blair and Osama bin Laden and an alarmingly high percentage
of other important figures in today's world. After September 11 2001
Blair claimed that religion was the solution not the problem, since
"Jews, Muslims and Christians are all children of Abraham" - unaware
that the example of Abraham was also cited by Mohammed Atta,
hijacker of the one of the planes that shattered the New York
skyline. RH Tawney wrote in Religion and the Rise of Capitalism that
"modern social theory, like modern political theory, developed only
when society was given a naturalistic instead of a religious
explanation". In which case modern social and political theory would
now seem to be dead.
2. The market is rational
Financial sophisticates in
the 21st century smile at the madness of the South Sea Bubble or the
absurdity of the Dutch tulip craze. Yet only a few years ago they
scrambled and jostled to buy shares in dotcom companies which had no
earnings at all nor any prospect of ever turning a profit. To
justify this apparent insanity, they maintained that such a
revolutionary business as the internet required a new business model
in which balance sheets were irrelevant. In short, they thought they
had repealed the laws of financial gravity - until they came
crashing down to earth.
3. There is no such thing as
reality
Hence the inverted commas
which postmodernists invariably place round the word. They see
everything from history to quantum physics as a text, subject to the
"infinite play of signification". But if all notions of truth and
falsity cease to have any validity, how can one combat bogus ideas -
or indeed outright lies? There is, for instance, a mass of carefully
empirical research on the Nazi extermination of the Jews. As
Professor Richard Evans points out, "To regard it as fictional,
unreal or no nearer to historical reality than, say, the work of the
'revisionists' who deny that Auschwitz ever happened at all, is
simply wrong. Here is an issue where evidence really counts, and can
be used to establish the essential facts. Auschwitz was not a
discourse."
4. We mustn't be
"judgmental"
In 2002 the Guardian
revealed that Christian fundamentalists had taken control of a
state-funded school in Gateshead and were striving to "show the
superiority" of creationist beliefs in their classes. When Jenny
Tonge MP asked Tony Blair if he was happy that the Book of Genesis
was now being promoted as the most reliable biology textbook, he
replied: "Yes. . . In the end a more diverse school system will
deliver better results for our children." This is the enfeebling
consequence of unthinking cultural and intellectual relativism. If
some schools start teaching that the moon is made of Swiss cheese or
that the stars are God's daisy chain, no doubt that too will be
officially welcomed as a healthy sign of educational diversity.
5. Laissez-faire capitalism
is the prerequisite for trade and prosperity
The International Monetary
Fund may say so, as it imposes Thatcher-style solutions all over the
world, but its own figures tell a different story. Its report on The
World Economy in the 20th Century", published in 2000, includes a
graph - printed very small, perhaps in the hope that no one would
notice - which shows that the pre-Thatcherite period between 1950
and 1973 was by far the most successful of the century. This was an
era characterized by capital controls, fixed exchange rates, strong
trade unions, a large public sector and a general acceptance of
government's role in demand management. The average annual growth in
"per capita real GDP" throughout the world was 2.9% - precisely
twice as high as the average rate in the two decades since then.
6. Astrology and similar
delusions are "harmless fun"
Those who say this never
explain what is either funny or harmless in promoting a con-trick
which preys on ignorance and anxiety. Yet even the Observer,
Britain's most venerable and enlightened Sunday newspaper, now has a
horoscope page.
7. Thin air is solid
Charles Leadbeater's book
Living on Thin Air (1999), a starry-eyed guide to the "weightless
economy", was described by Peter Mandelson as "a blueprint for what
a radical modernizing project will entail in years to come". The
dust jacket also carried a tribute from Tony Blair, hailing
Leadbeater as "an extraordinarily interesting thinker" whose book
"raises criticial questions for Britain's future". Three years
later, after the pricking of the dotcom bubble, industry secretary
Patricia Hewitt admitted that "industrial policy in [Labour's] first
term of office was mistaken, placing too much emphasis on the dotcom
economy at the expense of Britain's manufacturing base...The idea of
Living on Thin Air was so much hot air." Tactfully, she forgot to
mention that the chief hot-air salesman had been her own leader.
8. Sentimental hysteria is a
sign of emotional maturity
The psychotherapist Susie
Orbach interpreted the 'floral revolution' outside Kensington Palace
after Princess Diana's death as proof that we were "growing up as a
nation". Will Hutton, radical social democrat and republican, said
that the collective genuflection before a dead aristocrat showed
that the British were "freeing ourselves from the reins of the
past". The assumption is that emotional populism represents a new
kind of collective politics. In fact, it is nothing more than
narcissism in disguise.
9. America's economic
success is entirely due to private enterprise
In the 19th century, the
American government promoted the formation of a national economy,
the building of railroads and the development of the telegraph. More
recently, the internet was created by the Pentagon. American
agriculture is heavily subsidized and protected, as are the steel
industry and many other sectors of the world's biggest "free-market
economy". At times of economic slowdown, even under presidents who
denigrate the role of government, the US will increase its deficit
to finance expansionary fiscal and monetary policies. But its
leaders get very cross indeed if any developing country tries to
follow this example.
10. "It could be you. . ."
This was the advertising
slogan for the National Lottery, that monument to imbecility, which
was introduced (fittingly enough) by John Major. And millions of
British adults apparently believed it, even though the odds on
winning the jackpot are 13m to one. It could be you. . . but it
bloody well won't be.